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What would your interaction be like if you could speak to the “King” in your coparent rather than the fool?

  • Last updated: January 27, 2025 8:08 pm
  • Created: September 23, 2024 9:13 pm
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 ….is there no King in thee?

Micah 4:9 CEV

 

As a parent, you certainly do not want to shame your child when you discipline then.   If you speak to the fool in your child, the fool will stand up.  If you speak to the King in your child, the King will stand up.  Likewise, if you speak to the fool within your co-parent that is who will ultimately stand up. On the other hand, if you speak to the King in your co-parent you may be surprised to find that the king may just stand up.

How do you make this happen?  By giving your co-parent respect, giving them the benefit of the doubt, speaking with compassion rather than contempt and avoid any negative assumptions about them or their motive. You can probably list all the ways in which your co-parent may act the fool.  This is not their best side.  Instead assume that there is a king within that you must speak to in order to get them to respond.

If you met a real king, you would be humble and respectful.  You would make any requests gently and carefully. You would assume the King has no reason to harm you and may want to help.  Can you Imagine making this much of a shift in how you speak to your co-parent?

Lord,

Help me speak to my co-parent in a different manner so I can get a different result.  Help me to expect the King so I have a better chance of finding the King.  Help me swallow my pride in order to speak to the King within him especially when I do not see the King.  Amen

 

Authors

Susan Boyan

Over the last few decades of working with conflicted Christian coparents, I have encouraged parents to use their love for their children to change their own destructive behaviors. Unfortunately, this worked for only a portion of the conflicted parents. Over time, I discovered that incorporating faith into treatment has been the most effective intervention for change. I recognized many years ago the need for Christian coparents to have scripture-based skills to assist them in making personal changes. As someone who is passionate about improving the lives of families affected by divorce, and as a person of faith, this project has been on my heart for a very long time. As the proverb goes, “necessity is the mother of invention.”

My background and degrees are in special education, rehabilitation counseling, community counseling and marriage and family therapy. Furthermore, I have been writing and training on divorce related topics since 1993. I have authored professional articles on high-conflict divorce and co-authored seven books for conflicted divorced parents, as well as produced a psycho-educational coparenting video. I have also done TV interviews and frequently testify as an expert in the field of high-conflict divorce, parental alienation and parenting coordination.

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