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Time Travel to increase your compassion and empathy

  • Last updated: January 27, 2025 7:45 pm
  • Created: July 15, 2024 12:00 am
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time travel, compassion

He who justifies the wicked and he who condemns the righteous, both alike are an abomination to the Lord.  Proverbs 17:15

In order to increase compassion and defuse negative feelings of irritation and anger towards your co-parent, close your eyes and image traveling back in time through your mind.  Visualize your co-parent as a tiny infant, just a few months old -smiling up at you.  Notice their toothless grin, their chubby thighs and their dimpled little fingers. Take in their soft, sweet, flawless skin and scent.  Now gently pick them up in your mind and experience their complete innocence.   This is someone’s precious child, God’s precious child.  Recognize that this vulnerable part of your co-parent still exists within, hiding under all the negative life lessons and challenges they have experienced.

Now take a deep breath and move forward in time-past the present into the distant future. Travel to a time when your co-parent is on their death bed.  See their frail body, worn out eyes and twisted hands. You and your child are present to say goodbye.  What would you want to say as part of the goodbye if you choose to demonstrate compassion?  Would any of the conflict really matter?

Lord,

Guide me to recognize the vulnerable parts of my co-parent.  Remind me of their life struggles and their personal pain so that I can have more compassion for them.  When they are acting at their worst help me to use my mind to visit either of these times to detach and soften my heart.  Amen

 

 

Authors

Susan Boyan

Over the last few decades of working with conflicted Christian coparents, I have encouraged parents to use their love for their children to change their own destructive behaviors. Unfortunately, this worked for only a portion of the conflicted parents. Over time, I discovered that incorporating faith into treatment has been the most effective intervention for change. I recognized many years ago the need for Christian coparents to have scripture-based skills to assist them in making personal changes. As someone who is passionate about improving the lives of families affected by divorce, and as a person of faith, this project has been on my heart for a very long time. As the proverb goes, “necessity is the mother of invention.”

My background and degrees are in special education, rehabilitation counseling, community counseling and marriage and family therapy. Furthermore, I have been writing and training on divorce related topics since 1993. I have authored professional articles on high-conflict divorce and co-authored seven books for conflicted divorced parents, as well as produced a psycho-educational coparenting video. I have also done TV interviews and frequently testify as an expert in the field of high-conflict divorce, parental alienation and parenting coordination.

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