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How does resentment solidify your anger?

  • Last updated: January 27, 2025 8:07 pm
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Don’t sin by letting anger control you…

Psalm 4:4

 

When you are suffering in an unbearably unjust situation, your anger may turn to resentment.   If you attach anger to the face of our co-parent, overtime you will find yourself handcuffed to them and consumed by resentment.  Being angry is not a sin but acting on it or being controlled by your anger is. Anger and resentment give a “foothold to the devil.” Anger, resentment, bitterness, pride and unforgiveness have a way of building a closed system that leaves no room for compassion or kindness.  If letting go is not working then create a ritual to reinforce your desire to change.  For example, carry a rock in your pocket and identify it as your bitterness/resentment/pride/unforgiveness.  Pray and mediate on God’s Holy Word asking for the strength to let go.

Most of us do not want to live a life enslaved by negative emotions.  Address your pride, work through your anger, and make a commitment to let go of bitterness and forgive. Recognize the magnitude of this task but remember with God, nothing is impossible.  Ask for God’s divine intervention.

Lord,

I can feel my anger turning into resentment when it seems the situations keep repeating.  Help me to focus on changing myself rather than waiting on my co-parent to change.  Release me from the darkness that comes over me with these feelings.  I choose to see my co-parent as -my child’s other parent rather than the person who has harmed me personally.  Be with me as I work through these feelings. I know, with Your help, I can make this happen.  Amen

 

Authors

Susan Boyan

Over the last few decades of working with conflicted Christian coparents, I have encouraged parents to use their love for their children to change their own destructive behaviors. Unfortunately, this worked for only a portion of the conflicted parents. Over time, I discovered that incorporating faith into treatment has been the most effective intervention for change. I recognized many years ago the need for Christian coparents to have scripture-based skills to assist them in making personal changes. As someone who is passionate about improving the lives of families affected by divorce, and as a person of faith, this project has been on my heart for a very long time. As the proverb goes, “necessity is the mother of invention.”

My background and degrees are in special education, rehabilitation counseling, community counseling and marriage and family therapy. Furthermore, I have been writing and training on divorce related topics since 1993. I have authored professional articles on high-conflict divorce and co-authored seven books for conflicted divorced parents, as well as produced a psycho-educational coparenting video. I have also done TV interviews and frequently testify as an expert in the field of high-conflict divorce, parental alienation and parenting coordination.

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