He who justifies the wicked and he who condemns the righteous, both alike are an abomination to the Lord. Proverbs 17:15
In order to increase compassion and defuse negative feelings of irritation and anger towards your co-parent, close your eyes and image traveling back in time through your mind. Visualize your co-parent as a tiny infant, just a few months old -smiling up at you. Notice their toothless grin, their chubby thighs and their dimpled little fingers. Take in their soft, sweet, flawless skin and scent. Now gently pick them up in your mind and experience their complete innocence. This is someone’s precious child, God’s precious child. Recognize that this vulnerable part of your co-parent still exists within, hiding under all the negative life lessons and challenges they have experienced.
Now take a deep breath and move forward in time-past the present into the distant future. Travel to a time when your co-parent is on their death bed. See their frail body, worn out eyes and twisted hands. You and your child are present to say goodbye. What would you want to say as part of the goodbye if you choose to demonstrate compassion? Would any of the conflict really matter?
Lord,
Guide me to recognize the vulnerable parts of my co-parent. Remind me of their life struggles and their personal pain so that I can have more compassion for them. When they are acting at their worst help me to use my mind to visit either of these times to detach and soften my heart. Amen
Susan Boyan has just released a Christian Devotional for high conflict coparents entitled “Transforming Coparent Conflict; Through Scripture and Psychology.” It can be found on Amazon, Ingram and Barnes and Noble. It is soon to be released as an audio book and ebook. Keep an eye open for her new website http://www.transform-conflict.com which will be ready by September first 2024.