Scripture:
Because so many people were coming and going, they did not even have a chance to eat. Jesus said, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.
Mark 6:31 NIV
Lesson:
You may believe that God wants you to say “Yes” to everyone’s request as you put others before you. You may wonder if being assertive is contrary to what Jesus would do. However, even Jesus asserted himself when he told his disciplines He needed to escape to the other side of the Sea of Galilee. He was worn out and likely needed to take care of himself in order to give more later. We all need to take time to rest “by the still waters.” Unlike sheep, we do not have a shepherd to force us to rest. We need to provide this nurturing part to ourselves, so we do not burn out.
So, if you decline a request, ask yourself why you are saying no. Is it to punish or get even? If so, that is not assertive, that is passive aggressive. If you say “No” because you are spread too thin with commitments, you are asserting for what you need. It may even mean saying “No” to your child or your co-parent. They may not be happy but that isn’t the point. The crowd wanted more healing, yet Jesus declined. So, if you decline a request, ask yourself why you are saying no. Is it to punish or get even? If so, that is not assertive, that is passive aggressive. If you say “No” because you are spread too thin with commitments, you are asserting for what you need. It may even mean saying “No” to your child or your co-parent. They may not be happy but that isn’t the point. The crowd wanted more healing, yet Jesus declined.
We are expected to love ourselves and care for ourselves. In order to take care of ourselves we may need to take ourselves out of negative or destructive situations. Some people put themselves at the bottom of the priority list every single time. You cannot do this without paying a high price with irritability, anger, fatigue or even health problems. It is ok to stand up for yourself when doing so is appropriate. It is good for your child to witness a strong parent; one who values being generous and one who care for themselves. Likewise, it is good for your child to witness a flexible parent; one who is not rigid and unbending. Ask God to help you determine when it is right to be flexible and when it is best to say “No.”
God has compassion for each of us and wants us to take care of ourselves. Self-care often brings us back to God as He brings us true fulfillment and peace. When we are practicing self-care, we are reminded to dwell in God and have time for Him.
Reflection:
Does Jesus teach us that we must always say yes to requests?
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Prayer:
Lord, Help me learn when to say yes and when to say no, and for the right reasons. Help me have self-love and know You approve. Give me the strength to assert for myself when necessary. Help me love myself so I can better love others. I know You are sovereign and that I must accept both the blessing and the hardships of my life.