If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you?
Even sinners love those who love them. Luke 6:32
God commands us to love one another. He also commands us to forgive. For many of us, love and forgiveness might depend upon the degree of harm, the sense of remorse and the degree of closeness. Loving and forgiving go hand and hand. Consider how easy it is to forgive a complete stranger in an elevator who accidentally steps back on your foot. Forgiving this stranger would not cost you anything. If your sibling asks forgiveness for something that actually hurt you, and if you wanted a continued relationship, you would attempt to forgive the family member. Likewise, you would do everything to forgive your best friend, and your child goes without saying- you would want to forgive them. Strangers are easy to forgive. Family and close friends are all forgivable especially if we value an ongoing relationship with them.
Although Jesus said to love one another, He also said loving those who love you is the easy part. The same applies to forgiveness; as it is easier to forgive the stranger or casual friend. They apologize (maybe) you forgive, you get past it, make up and then continue forward into the future. The real deal breaker is to forgive someone who may not apologize, someone who has hurt you very deeply that you do not want a continued relationship with.
Jesus made love and forgiveness mandatory. However, this commandment will cost you several things. You will have to let go of your anger/hurt, any bitterness about fairness, give up your negative thoughts about your co-parent, give up slandering your co-parent, give up revenge, give up talking about the wrong you experienced, and give up all the pride that comes with a sense of righteousness.
Forgiving also means giving up the right to pay back or to keep bringing up their mistakes. If you are honest with yourself, you may recognize that in complaining about all your misfortunes and bad treatment you have taken on the role of “victim.” You may have gotten attention from this toxic role. You will no longer be able to play victim after you forgive. This commandment has an extensive price tag which may explain your resistant to loving and/or forgiving.
God commands we love one another and that we forgive. Read the fine print; it does not say which person to love or which to forgive. There are no disclaimers. It says everyone. It is easier to accept this when you remember we are all interconnected through God. Perhaps forgiving your co-parent should be seriously considered.
Lord,
Help me let go of anger, bitterness and all my excuses regarding forgiving my coparent. It is only by grace that I am forgiven. I see the craziness of my thinking. I need your help to accomplish this supernatural response. Fill me with your Holy Spirit and help me begin by eliminating my negative thoughts and all negative talk about my co-parent. It hurts me to know that I fall short on this important commandment. Show me how to forgive anyhow. In Jesus name, Amen