Love Your Enemies – Chapter 12

Lesson:

God commands us to love one another. He also commands us to forgive. For many of us, love and forgiveness might depend upon the degree of harm, the sense of remorse, and the degree of closeness. Loving and forgiving go hand in hand. Consider how easy it is to forgive a complete stranger in an elevator who accidentally steps back on your foot. Forgiving this stranger would not cost you anything as you have no history with them. 

If your siblings ask forgiveness for something that actually hurt you, and if you want a continued relationship, you would attempt to forgive this family member. Likewise, you would do everything to forgive your best friend; and forgving your child goes without saying—you would want to forgive them. Strangers are easy to forgive. Family and close friends are all forgivable, especially if we value an ongoing relationship with them. Although Jesus said to love one another, He also said loving those who love you is the easy part. The same applies to forgiveness, as it is easier to forgive the stranger or casual friend. They apologize (maybe), you forgive, you get past it, you make up, and then you continue forward into the future. 

The real deal breaker is to forgive someone who may not apologize, someone who has hurt you very deeply that you may or may not want a continued relationship with. Jesus made love and forgiveness mandatory. However, this commandment will cost you several things. You will have to let go of your anger/hurt, any bitterness about fairness, give up your negative thoughts about your coparent, give up slandering your coparent, give up revenge, give up talking about the wrong you experienced, and give up all the pride that comes with a sense of righteousness. 

Forgiving also means giving up the right to payback or bringing up their mistakes. If you are honest with yourself, you may recognize that in complaining about all your misfortune and bad treatment, you have taken on the role of “victim.” You may have gotten attention from this toxic role. You will no longer be able to play victim after you forgive. This commandment has an extensive price tag which may explain your resistance to loving and/or forgiving. God commands we love one another and that we forgive. Read the fine print; it does not say which person to love or which to forgive. There are no disclaimers. It says everyone. Learn to love and accept the notion that we are all interconnected through God. Perhaps loving your coparent should be seriously considered.