God blesses those people who make peace. They will be called his children.
Matthew 5:9
God loves the peacemakers. We are called to love one and other and not create conflict. In an attempt to make peace, imagine building a bridge to get to your coparent’s side. First step is you must be committed to the actual task. Do you really want to build a bridge? You must sincerely be motivated to reach the other side. Building a bridge with your co-parent begins with a commitment and then lots of hard work. For example, you might swallow your pride and ask forgiveness for your part of the conflict, or you could ask them to “bury the hatchet” and move forward. You could take the first step and apologize for harming them without expecting an apology in return. This may or may not work. You could demonstrate random acts of kindness towards your co-parent, yet this may arouse suspicion. You could compliment their efforts at attempting to bridge the way. Taking the initiative may surprise your co-parent especially if their actions harmed you.
Another way to change the climate of your relationship is to find common ground regarding your child. Allow yourself to see all the ways in which you and your coparent are similar especially when it comes to caring about your child. Notice what is right about your coparent rather than what is wrong. Be a love finder rather than a fault finder. Notice where you agree and comment on it. You can also acknowledge and show appreciation for one of their skills. For example, you may acknowledge that your co-parent’s math skills should come in handy with your child’s struggle in math.
Another way to make peace might be to let your coparent be right and even say so. This may feel difficult but all you must do is find some small part of their dispute that you could agree upon. For example, “You may be right about us doing too much for our son. I agree we need to encourage his independence. I hear what you are suggesting, and I wonder if you have any alternate ideas to address this so we may find a plan we both agree upon. What do you think?”
Search for the grain of truth in your coparent’s opinion rather than focus on the parts you disagree with. Almost every opinion has some merit especially if we are open to look for it rather than find fault.
Almighty Father,
Help me swallow my pride to allow me to acknowledge positive qualities about my co-parent as a way to start building a bridge of peace between us. I need your help to recognize where my co-parent has a good point so that I can build something upon it. I cannot achieve this without You. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen